To breastfeed or not to breastfeed

[YummyMummyOf2]

Hi Guys.... I will get straight to point.......
i breast fed my 1st child, only managed 5weeks as i ran out of milk wanted to do 8 weeks.
im 20weeks preg with 2nd child and hubby wants me to breast feed, and im not overly fussed about it... due to what happened last time, i dont want to go thru that again... I feel never got the bond with my 1st child... I have now said to hubby, if i feed for 1st couple of days so it gets best part of milk (and whilst i am in hosp) but he wants me to do more than a week... and "see how you get on"...
What should we/i do?!

[foolsgold]

If you don't want to BF because you are worried that you won't get any better results then I would suggest contacting a LaLecheLeague represenative http://www.llli.org or talk to other mothers that you know that have breastfeed. Also try the hospital where you are going to see if they have a lactation consultant. If you are willing to try some natural remedies. http://www.nativeremedies.com/category/mom-baby-remedies-health-natural-herbal.html
Check out some of these. Look for the Nature's Milk Drops.
I would feel happy that you got to BF your first for as long as you did. I mean if you didn't get to BF him/her at all do you think you would have felt more of a bond?

If you don't want to BF for other reasons then it is your choice but try to look on the positive side. Your first child got 5 weeks of breastfeeding. He/She got the wonderful first milk that help boost his/her immune system and the good nutritional benefits of breastfeeding for 5 weeks after that. You may have wanted to nurse for longer but there are times when it isn't possible. I think the longer you breastfeed the better but also some is better then none. I hope you and your husband can come to an agreement and I wish you the best with your pregnancy.

[YummyMummyOf2]

Hi Guys not been ere for a while... got a lil while to my self at the mo.

We have decided that i will breast feed whilst in hospital... see how i feel, and if i want to carry on, to carry on!

[foolsgold]

That's wonderful Fordy. I'm so glad you were able to come up with an idea that satisfied both of you. I would still suggest contacting LaLacheLeague for any tips, pointers or suggestions for you if you decide to nurse longer, it would be a huge help.

[Zev]

He has to remember though, that it's your body that goes through it, not his.

[meech288]

you should feed the baby as long as you can, you have already said that you feel sad about not bonding with 1st child so do the right thing for you baby and hubby and breast feed as long as you can, i had a lot of bleeding down below when i had my new born and i used to cry in pain if i had to sit still to feed her and there where many times i nearly gave up but now eight months on and im still feeding her, its wonderful, no midnight bottles ect.... good luck with the birth xxxx

[YummyMummyOf2]

We are going to breast feed in hospital where i will get support from the midwives, and then when i get home see how i am getting on, and go from there on... I dont feel that there is anything good or bad about breast feeding children. my daughter has had ezema and has cold after cold , and my friends son is never out of hospital due to one thing and another. We will see how i get on, and how i feel.

[pontebantam]

I remember with our first child, new experience and whilst we all know the health benefits for the baby when BF, the reality can be very different. It was a difficult and traumatic birth, my wife had PND and never really got into the BF routine. Our second child wasn't BF at all due to dw being on AD's, now as dad I really wanted them both BF as much as possible, but then you realise that ultimately you can't make someone do it and it can destroy the bonding between the two if there is resentment, yes breast is best but there are other ways and ultimately as long as they receive nutritional foods and lots of love they'll still do well (as mine are!)

By the way - have you ever tried to 'make' a pregnant/just given birth woman do something ? That's the sort of scenario where chain mail armour and a good hospitalisation policy are needed

[chelms38]

If there are any ladies out there with excess breast milk and they live nearby I would be happy to help suckle it for them.

[Captain]

There is every chance you'll get off without a hitch this time and baby will feed like a dream. One negative experience doesn't mean it will be hard again second time round just like some people can have 3 really good feeders and then have another and find it really difficult.
I think you've got the right attitude and that is to start that way and continue if it is working for you both.

La Leche is a wonderful resource though, they are very supportive and would probably be a big help if you do have any trouble.

[xXx.Lesley.xXx]

I struggled with my first child, but fed my daughter for 9 months. My 3rd child could only be breastfed for 4 months, then I had to stop because he wasn't gaining weight.

[YummyMummyOf2]

I struggled with my first child, but fed my daughter for 9 months. My 3rd child could only be breastfed for 4 months, then I had to stop because he wasn't gaining weight.

Since having a problem myself breast feeding, i have heard more and more people saying they had a problem too!
was your youngest getting enough from you were you producing enough for him?
Thats one of the things i dont like about breastfeeding - you never know how much your baby is ACCTUALLY getting.
Does anyone know the benefits of demand feeding apposed to feeding every 4/3 hours?? My friend demand feeds at night and feeds every 3or4hours during the day ... i dont think i could do demand feeding at night, wouldnt they get to a point of saying "hmm i think i want a cuddle - im going to cry and get fed too ... BONUS"?!?!

[xXx.Lesley.xXx]

When breastfeeding I done demand feeding all the time. You never know how much they are actually getting, so I do it when they are hungry. You learn the cries of hunger, and the cries of them just wanting a cuddle!

I had 3 children to look after, 2 under the age of 2. I also had a lot going on, where I would walk and exercise a lot (not intentially) so most my energy was going into that, rather than producing milk. I could never ever express. By hand, or pump. So the only other option was to put him on formula.

[Captain]

I plan to feed on demand night and day. It might be tiring but babies need a lot of food, and even if they do want comfort why not provide it to them? I was reading a study recently where they realised emotional pain (anxiety etc) registers in the brain just as physical pain does and does have a consequence.
I don't know why people think it's wrong to cuddle a baby if thats what they want it's not being manipulative it's wanting to feel safe

They're not adults so they need to be socialised and cared for differently. They are needy little things and I'm sure I will be exhausted but after reading a few papers on that sort of thing it changed my mind completely about the leaving them to cry thing. It can have physical and permanent effects. Stable attachment is very crucial to personality formation and the relationships they form later in life.

[Cheryle]

In the end, every woman needs to do what is the best for her baby and for herself. There is no denying that breastfeeding is the VERY best for baby but a mommy who's unhappy doing it, is NOT the best.

I exclusively breastfed my son for 8 months and have started him on solids about a month ago. He is still nursing just as much as before though. I have fed him on demand since he was born. But not every cry is a hunger cry! I do not comfort nurse him or nurse him to fall asleep.

He has nursed about every 3 or 4 hours since he was born and went about 6 hours at night until recently (now he is going 10 hours at night). There might be days that he drinks more frequently because of a growing spurt or teething causing him not to drink so much in one sitting but, normally he goes at least 3 or 4 hours between nursing.

I find nursing so convenient. It does have moments/days when I just feel like stopping but the rewards for both him and me make it worth it. I found setting little goals helped way more to keep nursing than saying an end goal. At first I said, I want to nurse at least 6 weeks. At 6 weeks all the initial problems and pains were taken care of and nursing was going great so I set the goal for 3 months. At 3 months, I set the goal for 6 months when I had planned to start solids. At 6 months I had been reading about the benefits of extended exclusive nursing so I decided to exclusively nurse him to 8 months and see what happened once he started solids. Now he is 9 months, has been on solids for a month, is still nursing just as much as before and it's still very convenient. I don't want to start him on formula or bottles now! He's learning to drink water straight from a cup and otherwise he gets his milk from me. I have decided to self wean now so I do not have an end time set anymore...

The hardest times are at the beginning as you and your baby get into a routine and your nipples toughen up. Then when baby goes through teething and possible nursing strikes due to teething. But just take one day at a time and it will get better. Babies are made to nurse and our bodies are made to nurse a baby!

If you feel your supply is low, drink lots of water and let baby nurse often. That is the best way to increase your supply. Babies go through growing spurts and we may think they're not getting enough, but that's the nice thing about feeding on demand. If baby is going through a growing spurt and crying more because of hunger, more nursing is going to send your body the signal to produce more milk!

I'm sorry I just sort of rambled on here. I had just wanted to relate a bit of my experience with nursing and try to encourage you to try. Your plan of starting in the hospital is good. See how it goes from there! Good luck!!