Caught my teenage kids skinny dipping

[Suburban Mom]

I'm a single mom and have recently been finding this to be more difficult now that my kids are midway through their teens (son 15, daughter 17)!

I came home the other day and found the two of them, along with one of my daughter's girlfriends, completely nude in our backyard hot tub. I was stunned and upon coming across them, was TOO stunned to even say anything. I just gave a curt "Hi" and went back inside. They acted like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Later, I told my daughter (supposedly the older and more mature of my kids) that I felt very uncomfortable with what the three of them had done. She of course blew up at me calling me any number of names including "prude". This was rather stinging as 1) I've always imagined that I had a very open and close relationship with my daughter and 2) I am most assuredly NOT a prude. In fact I think of myself as being very open-minded.

She told me that I was being silly and that the human body was nothing to be ashamed of and that she certainly wasn't ashamed of HER body. This was no real revelation as she is an extremely attractive, curvaceous young woman but I was more concerned about how my adolescent son would handle such things.

I asked her if it had occurred to her that it might be very embarrassing for him being around two very attractive naked girls, one of them being his own SISTER. She just laughed and said in a rather knowing tone that she didn't think he seemed embarrassed at all. I asked her what she meant by that and she just looked at me like I was from Mars saying that judging from what his "body was saying" she assumed that he was quite enjoying himself.

When I asked what she meant by that, she just laughed dismissively.

I of course was furious and left the room angrily. Now I don't know what to do or to say. I wonder whether I should confront her again or to confront my son or to just do nothing.

Any thoughts?

[Guest]

"Not in this house" would be a good start. If it was the two girls, it would be one thing but you can't honestly believe a 15 year old boy wasn't in his game sitting with two naked 17 year old girls.

You let her railroad you and you could have told them to get out or get dressed from the get-go.

I'm sure you'll have plenty of responses here telling you exactly what your daughter told you. In the end, it's your house, your rules.

[Latest Movie]

They were only doing what teenagers do - they want to know about other peoples bodies. It looks as though it was all voluntary, so what is the bother. And yes, the boy will get a hard on - I guess the girls were also aroused to some extent but this is not so obvious.

[Yamaharley_UK]

I'm kind of with your daughter on this one. What's wrong with seeing the human body that God (or evolution, depending on your beliefs) gave us?
Your ideas of morality may not be the same as those of the next generation - nobody's hurting anybody, so try to be cool with it. Think it possible that they might be right and you might be wrong...

[Guest]

Hey, the hippie generation couldn't be all wrong, right? Peace, love, nudity, sexual freedom, drugs and rock and roll.


I say turn your home into a commune and open the doors to whatever your daughter and naked friends want. What a cool mom you'll be.

Or, put your foot down and tell them to take it somewhere else. Would you allow your brother? sister? mom? dad? friends? to sit around your house naked and be "cool" with it?

[Guest]

- or alternatively make them all wear burkhas - maybe the good Lord doesn't us want to see what he made

[Guest]

The girls probably enjoyed seeing your son physically aroused just as much as he enjoyed seeing your daughter's friend naked. You should consider the possibility that all three of them may be sexually active. I'm not saying you should approve of it, but you need to consider that it is a very real possibility. You need to talk calmly with your children and find out what they are or are not doing. It is probably time to have a frank talk with each of them about birth control.

[Suburban Mom]

Dear Guest Jun 10, 2008 1:57 am,

I've definitely thought about that and the thought that my daughter actually enjoyed watching her brother get an erection really upsets me. He's a very handsome young man and quite well-endowed. Part of me believes that my daughter who is very sophisticated, was taking advantage of him for her own gratification.

I'm very upset about all of this.

[Guest]

[Realist]

I don’t think you should worry too much about your children skinny dipping. The fact that they were not worried about getting caught by you means they were not doing anything untoward. You cannot turn the clock back and it is inevitable they will do it again and surely it is better if you are around rather than them behaving secretively. You should be pleased that they obviously haven’t got any “hang-ups” about their bodies, which blights so many teenagers and adults lives. 15 year old boys have erections all the time, even when watching football on TV, so it would be surprising if he did not have one on this occasion. A lot of teenage boys get very embarrassed, so I it is good that he so obviously unconcerned. Whilst you daughter and her friend may have enjoyed seeing an erect penis, I am sure your son was not being exploited – there was nothing to stop him walking away and going indoors. You could say that you don’t mind them going around nude, but you would prefer them to do it when you are around- they are happy and you feel you have some control.

[Guest]

Okay, my kids are young adults now, but I can tell you one thing. Giving the permission to walk around nude in my home with their friends would be about the weirdest thing I could ever have done. They respected me a lot more than to ever assume that would be okay. It's just not okay. If it was, kids would be going to school naked. You can't stop the sex play that's going to come from teenage hanky panky unless you instilled morals and values in these kids from early childhood, but for them to assume sitting around nude in front of their parent, or their friend's parent is okay is just ridiculous.

I agree, they've probably already done it in your bed.

[Guest]

So where do you live? I'd love to meet your kids and their friends and have the freedom to drop my pants any time.

[Realist]

I am only suggesting that the mother accepts a fait accompli, but may be able to exercise some control over the situation.

I imagine that the two “guests” live in America, which is a sex obsessed society bombarded by provocative, scantily, but not quite nude images in the media and entertainment. These industries would collapse if nudity was generally accepted, as they could no longer peddle the myth that unbridled sex was there for the offering.

If you went to a naturist club, you would find very ordinary people doing very ordinary and probably boring things. You would discover that the completely nude body was in no way provocative and alluring like a partially clothed one. There is probably more sexual activity in the local tennis club. It has been found that children brought up in naturist homes don’t have body image problems, have little or no problem going through the difficulties of puberty and indulge in sexual activity at a later age than their peers.

However, you are not going to believe me as you probably have closed minds and will never accept that nudity does not have to equal sexual activity.

I have no wish to invite the “pants dropping” guest to my home and suggest he indecently exposes himself elsewhere, but hopefully not cause alarm to others

[Guest]

So if you drop your pants, you're exposing yourself indecently, but if you sit in the hot tub with a hard on for your sister's friend and your mom walks in and is uncomfortable, that's just all good and natural. Hmmhmmmm.

Yep, those damn Americans. I guess I'm going to tell my sex-crazed English friends they should move out of our country and join the renegades.

Rubbish.

[Realist]

“Guest” you know that there is a world of difference from dropping your pants to expose your penis and being completely nude. In the first case you are deliberately drawing attention to one part of your body in order to distress or annoy others.

America seems to have fear of nudity out of all proportion, but is quite happy to tolerate the right to bear arm, which has resulted in countess tragedies.

I am sure I would feel safer in a nude society than an armed one!