Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2005 3:22 pm Post subject: anyone NOT want children?
Are there any women (or indeed men) on here who actually hate the idea of having children? The idea of being pregnant repulses me, but the idea of having a child of my own repulses me even more. I'm nearly 30 and don't really feel as though I fit in with my friends. I would love to get married, but I'm worried that I will put guys off when I tell them I don't want and will never want kids.
Joined: 30 Apr 2004 Posts: 28799 Location: Kentucky , USA
Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2005 3:46 pm Post subject:
I never did at all until this last year . Amazing how a life time of seeing mother hood as a living hell can change so quickly . In my family having kids always means only trouble for women in the end . Baby's are cute and it's nice to say your a parent . Then again it is a disaster. The men always leave or quit coming around with the kids keeping away guys except for sport F****** and even then they quit showing up eventually . The women are also left poorer and more bitter . In my family they also get fat ! Worst of all the kids don't get attention and turn out bad . the whole cycle keeps going on and on .
Then again in the last year I have had a real awakening like being born again . I have been lucky enough to see and hear of plenty of cases where people have kids and whle they have to work alot get great satisfaction out of it . My gf's brother and his wife have two wonderful kids that may drive them crazy sometimes but dearly love . My partner at work and his wife both work 2 jobs to provide for there girls who they live for .A neighbour adopted a little girl in China and loves her up n' down and the girl shows all the love that has been put in her .
.People here too obviouslly get alot out of being parents . Like FA Sue , xX x lesley x X x , the wired coffee junkie , joanna , and buddy among others . Including tecker 73 whose wife just had a baby girl . Don't plan on doing it till I get the career thing worked out and can afford one . But it looks like a great experience .
Last edited by Lena on Fri Oct 07, 2005 1:46 am; edited 2 times in total
Because when it comes down to, what good reason does people have for having children besides carrying out reproduction as a basic survival of the human species. I don't want kids anytime soon, and I don't think I will ever have them. It's good to see more women feeling this way instead of being pressured into becoming baby making machines.
Well, I can understand pretty much that being seen as a baby-producer is'nt exactly the most inspiring thing.
But at end of the day its for you to decide whether its you or not.
If you believe in God then you know that your number one duty aint being a factory, rather faith in God.
I know there's alot of research muscle being put into the theory of the "biological factory". Does'nt mean its true.
And anyway, we need someone we can unconditionally love and to be loved unconditionally. Lots of old ladies wish they had kids. They're old now, have no family and no one 2 love them.
god i thought i was alone!i dont like kids and would rather mother a dog!! i seen something recently about this subject and when in the past it was woman who wanted kids its now men that really want to be fathers.woman are putting their careers in front of motherhood!
I never wanted kids then at 28 I got pregnant while on birth controll, I took 3 pregnancy test hoping I wasnt but I was. after my son was born every thing changed my life is so much better with him in it.
Because when it comes down to, what good reason does people have for having children besides carrying out reproduction as a basic survival of the human species. I don't want kids anytime soon, and I don't think I will ever have them. It's good to see more women feeling this way instead of being pressured into becoming baby making machines.
Exactly! It's not just the whole pregnancy/birth that I think looks hideous, it's actually having to give my quiet life up to have kids. I feel pressured into having them and it annoys the hell out of me.
Because when it comes down to, what good reason does people have for having children besides carrying out reproduction as a basic survival of the human species. I don't want kids anytime soon, and I don't think I will ever have them. It's good to see more women feeling this way instead of being pressured into becoming baby making machines.
Exactly! It's not just the whole pregnancy/birth that I think looks hideous, it's actually having to give my quiet life up to have kids. I feel pressured into having them and it annoys the hell out of me.
You're right about that. Someone mentioned that old ladies don't have anyone to love them. That's what a lover is for. Having kids so you can make sure someone keeps you happy in old age is the wrong reason to have children. Also a parent is looking at least an 18yr committment of raising a child. Not only do you need the right amount of money, you have to provide a shelter, love, and enough morals to make that a child a decent human being. A person's whole life changes when having a kid and excuse me, but some people rather not oblige themselves to this kind of arduous labor.
I have a beautiful 6 year old who i adore and i also work with children.
I also have an equally adorable niece (6 weeks) but now that im older ive come to think that i actually don't want anymore children.
Its the thought of starting all over again, maybe if id had one a few years after my daughter it wouldn't have been so bad but to be honest, im happy with my life right now.
Id say "never say never" but right at this time, id definatly say "No more".
[You're right about that. Someone mentioned that old ladies don't have anyone to love them. That's what a lover is for. Having kids so you can make sure someone keeps you happy in old age is the wrong reason to have children. Also a parent is looking at least an 18yr committment of raising a child. Not only do you need the right amount of money, you have to provide a shelter, love, and enough morals to make that a child a decent human being. A person's whole life changes when having a kid and excuse me, but some people rather not oblige themselves to this kind of arduous labor.] quote
Can see where you're coming from. Its just that I've seen plenty of cases where the aged have either lost their partner or their lover ran off. You see these ppl so unhappy in elderly homes and in hospitals. Having a child just for some comfort in old-age obviously is'nt a good enough case. But its something that most ppl just feel naturally inclined to do at some point in their life. Bringing them up takes patience and a whole lot more, but I guess this arduos labor does'nt set back those who want this certain kind of change. Its a matter of choice.
[You're right about that. Someone mentioned that old ladies don't have anyone to love them. That's what a lover is for. Having kids so you can make sure someone keeps you happy in old age is the wrong reason to have children. Also a parent is looking at least an 18yr committment of raising a child. Not only do you need the right amount of money, you have to provide a shelter, love, and enough morals to make that a child a decent human being. A person's whole life changes when having a kid and excuse me, but some people rather not oblige themselves to this kind of arduous labor.] quote
Can see where you're coming from. Its just that I've seen plenty of cases where the aged have either lost their partner or their lover ran off. You see these ppl so unhappy in elderly homes and in hospitals. Having a child just for some comfort in old-age obviously is'nt a good enough case. But its something that most ppl just feel naturally inclined to do at some point in their life. Bringing them up takes patience and a whole lot more, but I guess this arduos labor does'nt set back those who want this certain kind of change. Its a matter of choice.
[You're right about that. Someone mentioned that old ladies don't have anyone to love them. That's what a lover is for. Having kids so you can make sure someone keeps you happy in old age is the wrong reason to have children. Also a parent is looking at least an 18yr committment of raising a child. Not only do you need the right amount of money, you have to provide a shelter, love, and enough morals to make that a child a decent human being. A person's whole life changes when having a kid and excuse me, but some people rather not oblige themselves to this kind of arduous labor.] quote
Can see where you're coming from. Its just that I've seen plenty of cases where the aged have either lost their partner or their lover ran off. You see these ppl so unhappy in elderly homes and in hospitals. Having a child just for some comfort in old-age obviously is'nt a good enough case. But its something that most ppl just feel naturally inclined to do at some point in their life. Bringing them up takes patience and a whole lot more, but I guess this arduos labor does'nt set back those who want this certain kind of change. Its a matter of choice.
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